butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize