afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
