I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
