and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize