Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
