Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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