We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
