everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
