I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
