Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
