theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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