you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
