I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i will never coherently bang her
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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