It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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