I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize