if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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