remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
