guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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