there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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