dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize