I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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