it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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