oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
