It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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