i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
