if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
