Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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