everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
