It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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