tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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