how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
