i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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