when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
