it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
