every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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