Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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