I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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