idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
