$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
