i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
