i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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