I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
