discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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