He had one of those small greek statue penises
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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