you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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