Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
