You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
