Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
