Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
