Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
