I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize