After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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