Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
