I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
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I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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