Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
