Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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