what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
