weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
