u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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