that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
