there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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