Whod you bang
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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