Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
