Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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